Pokemon Breeding Blues
by Fujisaki Chihiro
Summary: Meet Ichigo, Rosa's rather grumpy female Clefairy. She's never been a social butterfly, but Rosa's officially got a problem on her hands when the subject Ichigo hates the most is brought up... Breeding.


**~ Pokémon Breeding Blues ~**

_Oh yikes. My Trainer is going to breed me. Oh no. My Trainer is going to breed me. Oh woe is me. I hate breeding._

That much has stayed in my head since my Trainer Rosa set off for the Pokémon Day Care in Unova's Route 3. I knew she was going to breed me because she never takes her Pokémon to the Day Care for leveling up. She leaves the Pokémon-training and leveling up to herself, so the only reason for her to want to go to the Day Care is to breed.

I'm sorry. I haven't properly introduced myself, have I? Well, my sincerest apologies. My name is Ichigo, and I'm a female Clefairy. Rosa caught me in the Giant Chasm Crater Forest.

Rosa has defeated the Unova League and become the Champion of the Unova Region. That's because her hobby is Pokémon Training – besides battling at the Pokémon World Tournament and watching Japanese anime. She has also defeated Team Plasma and thwarted the evil organization's plans. Yep, she's exactly that kind of Trainer who's been there, done that.

But one of the things she hasn't done is complete the Pokédex entry for Cleffa, my pre-evolution. And since Cleffa is uncatchable in the Unova region, she has decided to breed me to get a Cleffa egg.

I hate breeding with a passion. I could be doing much more useful things instead of sitting in the Day Care trying to make friends with the other Pokémon. I could be watching Tokyo Mew Mew with Rosa (Tokyo Mew Mew is one of Rosa's most frequently-watched anime series. That's why she named me Ichigo) if she wasn't at the PWT.

But woe is me, because before I knew it, Rosa had already handed my Poké Ball to the Day Care Lady. Then she handed her another Poké Ball, which obviously contained my supposed partner. She turned back to me before leaving, and said (I was able to hear her perfectly well although I was inside my Poké Ball), "Ichigo, we'll come back later to check on you, OK? Madoka and I are going to enter the PWT. See you later, Ichigo!" (By the way, Madoka is Rosa's Serperior. Metal Fight Beyblade is also one of Rosa's favorites).

The PWT sounds so much better than idly sitting in a Day Care.

* * *

**Day One**

A little while later, I was sitting on the soft green grass of the Day Care. Smaller Pokémon were running around, and there were Pikachu, Pichu, Emolga, Lillipup, and Patrat. They seemed to be having fun here.

Unlike me.

I had no plans to get along with the other Pokémon. Not even the one Rosa had paired me up with.

That was when I saw that Audino. He was coming uncertainly towards me. _Oh no_, I thought as I tried to make myself invisible.

Too late.

"Umm... are you Ichigo the Clefairy?" he asked, fiddling with his fingers. He was an insecure and unconfident Audino.

"Well, what do you think?" I drawled, rolling my eyes.

"Yes. You must be Ichigo, then."

"Who are you?"

He tried to smile and offered his hand to shake, which I didn't take. "Umm, Purin the Audino. Like you, I'm also in the Fairy Egg Group. I'm also Rosa's Pokémon."

Purin! Ugh. Rosa is more addicted to Tokyo Mew Mew than I thought. "Of course you are," I said, then turned away from him, as if I was bored with listening to him. Intimidated, he also didn't make any more moves to get to know me. To my pleasure.

* * *

**Result: Day One**

The Day Care Lady sounded down in the dumps as she gave Rosa the Poké Ball containing Purin back. "Your Audino is more interested in playing with the little Pichu instead of your Clefairy," she said. "And Clefairy likes to spend her time alone instead of with Audino. If things go on like that, you won't find a Cleffa egg."

Rose frowned. "All right then, I'll try with this Pokémon." She gave the Day Care Lady a different Poké Ball.

* * *

**Day Two**

On my second day at the Day Care, there was suddenly a new Cottonee among the other Pokémon. My mind told me that this was the next phase of Rosa's breeding plan.

The Cottonee spotted me and hovered over enthusiastically. Something told me he was more outgoing than Purin the Audino.

"Hello hello hello hello hello!" he exclaimed, flying in circles around me and making me dizzy. "Hey, hey, hey! You must be Ichigo, friend!"

"Pipe down," I snapped. "You're making my eardrums burst. Who are you, anyway? And... _"friend"_? Really?"

"Well, hey! I'm Minto the happy Cottonee... as you can see! And you are Ichigo the Clefairy! Hey, that rhymed! ...We're gonna have a good time at the Day Care-y! Hahahah! I just made a poem!"

I groaned and rested my forehead against the fence.

Not saying anything else to Minto was pretty effective in making him stop bothering me and leaving me alone. However, that doesn't mean the rest of the day was peaceful.

"Hey hey hey!" Minto's voice floated from the far end of the Day Care. "What's yer name, little Pichu? ...Oh, it's Pichu? Hey, nice to meet you! I'm Minto the Cottonee, and it's my first day at the Day Care! And what about you? Oh, you're Lillie the Lillipup? That's a cute name! I'm Minto, imma happy Cottonee! Nice to meet you! It's so nice to be here! ...What's that? You liked my poem? Hahaha, I can make something much better than that. Watch this!"

And then, things were pretty much chaos at the Day Care. Minto was so LOUD.

"I'm Minto, and this is Pichu!  
Pikachu is the friend of Pichu!  
And there's Lillie the Lillipup too!  
Not to mention that Patrat,  
He's always watching you!  
And the pink one in the corner is Ichigo,  
She's a Clefairy and she's an emo, yo!"

I groaned and closed my eyes. "Rosa, get me out of here."

* * *

**Result: Day Two**

Rosa wasn't surprised when the Day Care Lady gave her back Minto's Poké Ball. "Your Cottonee is very friendly and outgoing," she said, "But even he wasn't able to get through to your Clefairy."

Rosa sighed again. Breeding turned out to be far more complicated than she thought. "OK, I'll try breeding with this one," she said.

* * *

**Day Three**

There's a new Pokémon. Again. He was a Grass-type with a mushroom cap on his head and a long tail with round decorations on it. _Aww man, not again,_ I thought.

He went right over to me. "You're Ichigo, aren't ya?"

I glared. "Go away."

"I was right," he said, hopping alternately from one foot to another. "Purin said you were annoying. He was right."

I glared again. What was it with this Pokémon? He wouldn't stop _hopping_. "And you are? What business do you have with me? Is it so important that you must disturb me from my rather important conversation with myself? And did Purin actually say THAT?"

"Well, I was only responding to my call of duty. Rosa asked me to be here. And yep, Purin did say that." Now he wasn't only hopping about, but also springing his stretchy arms out in fists. If this was a boxing match, he'd be the guy who just wouldn't stop moving and punching.

"_And you are?_"

He hopped around me, still punching the air. He said, "Japanese name: Retasu. English name: Lettuce. Feel free to call me either of those, although the former is preferred."

I followed his laid-back style. "Japanese name: Ichigo. English name: Strawberry. Although I prefer you don't talk to me at all and just leave me alone."

"You're funny," he said. _Hop, hop. Punch. Punch._

"Well, you're annoying. _What_ are you, anyway? I don't think I've seen your species in Unova."

"Japanese name: Kinogassa. English name: Breloom. I come from Hoenn."

"Oh for Arceus's sake. You can stop talking like that. And aren't you a Grass-type? Why does Rosa think she can breed me with you? Unlike you, I certainly am not in the Weed Egg Group."

However, Retasu just laughed. "It's called the Plant Egg Group. And I actually can breed with you because I'm also in the Fairy Egg Group. I know, not very manly, I know. But hey! You're actually pretty funny... in a sarcastic manner, of course. I wonder why neither Purin nor Minto said anything about this."

I only glared even more. Retasu didn't seem to be getting my message. "Well, they never said I was funny because they never stuck around with me this long. And what gives? You? In the Fairy Group? You're not exactly _fairy_ material. I'm a natural fairy, of course, and the little kids wouldn't mind having fairies with pink star-shaped bodies. But you? They'd _freak_ if they saw a hopping fairy threatening to punch them, _and_ he had a mushroom-shaped tumor growing out of his head."

However, Retasu only laughed even more. "Ichigo, you're actually funny."

"Well, yeah? I wasn't actually trying to be funny; it was an insult if you'd got it the wrong way. Go away and leave me alone. And for Arceus' sake, stop hopping and punching, will you, or I'll superglue your hands and feet to your body."

I turned away, although I could hear that he was still chuckling... which he'd better stop if he didn't want me to superglue his mouth too.

_Grr. That Retasu._

* * *

**Result: Day Three**

"I saw that your Breloom attempted to keep the conversation going with your Clefairy," said the Day Care Lady at the end of the day. "I saw them "talk" for a little while, but then your Clefairy got bored and decided to shut him out. If your Clefairy had made a better effort, they would have been able to breed. Traded Pokémon are also easier to breed. Your Breloom is a traded Pokémon, no?"

"Yes," Rosa sighed, accepting the Poké Ball back from the lady. Retasu had been a gift from her friend in Hoenn. But still, Ichigo wasn't helping this work. She was certainly not cooperating. "OK then. Here's my last Pokémon of choice..."

* * *

**Day Four**

I was minding my own business when the Day Care Lady went into the yard and announced, "This is a new friend. He is a Clefable. Play nice with him, OK?"

I turned to see a pink Pokémon being surrounded by the usual Day Care Pokémon. I blinked. The new Pokémon was a Clefable, my evolved form and the last Pokémon in the Clefairy evolutionary line.

...And he was _hot_. Unlike plump, little me, he was tall and more slender, almost like a male ballet dancer. Unlike my stubby wings, his had fully grown. His face was calm like still water. He was _hot_, but he was _cool_.

I found myself getting up and straying over to him. The sea of Pichu, Pikachu, Emolga, Lillipup, and Patrat parted. Then Clefable spotted me.

"Hello!" I said in a high-pitched voice I didn't recognize, blushing. "I'm Ichigo the Clefairy, I'm the Pokémon Rosa's trying to breed. What's your name?"

"Zakuro," he said shortly, coldly. "Zakuro the Clefable." He didn't look thrilled to know that I was the Pokémon he was supposed to spend time with.

However, I still didn't give up. "That's another Tokyo Mew Mew character, right?" I asked. "I met Purin the Audino, Minto the Cottonee, and Retasu the Breloom. And I'm Ichigo, you're Zakuro. Those are the names of the main characters in Tokyo Mew Mew."

"Dunno," was all Zakuro said. "I don't like Tokyo Mew Mew, and I hate all those names. They're really sappy, especially Purin and Ichigo. No offense," he added, but he didn't really mean it.

"Does this mean you're in the Fairy Egg Group too?" I asked, trying to make small talk and divert the topic.

"Yeah. I guess." Zakuro turned away as if he'd had enough of talking to me.

I was desperately thinking about what I should say next, but then I heard Zakuro mutter under his breath. "_Rosa, get me out of here._"

* * *

**Result: Day Four**

"I'm sorry, Rosa dear," the Day Care Lady said to Rosa at the end of the fourth day, returning the Poké Ball containing Zakuro. "This time it's Clefable who won't cooperate."

Rosa groaned. "But those Pokémon are the only ones in the Fairy Egg Group I have," she moaned. "How am I going to breed you, Ichigo?" She turned to me with a sigh. I was standing next to her after being finally released from the Day Care. "Isn't any of those Pokémon good enough for you?"

I stared down at my feet. _Isn't any of those Pokémon good enough for me?_

Purin. Minto. Retasu. Zakuro...

That was when I got an idea. I tugged at Rosa's skirt and squealed in Pokémon language until Rosa finally understood what I meant. She handed a Poké Ball to the Day Care Lady.

And then I found myself back in the Day Care.

But this time, I was ready.

* * *

**Day Five**

...

Retasu groaned. "Why am I trapped in here with you again, Ichigo?" The hyperactive Breloom was once again hopping around me and punching the air.

I tried to smile, hoping that he didn't hate me for the things I've said. "Because we're going to start over and make friends," I replied.

Retasu rolled his eyes. "And you were the one who said I had a mushroom-shaped tumor growing out of my head."

"Well, I'm sorry," I said sincerely. "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I said a whole lot of things I didn't mean... I'm really sorry."

Retasu tossed his head indifferently, but then he laughed, punching the air right in front of my face. "Oh, that's all right," he said. "I was only pulling your leg. I _did_ say you were sarcastically funny. The ones whom you should probably apologize to are Purin and Minto, though. Especially Purin. He said you were annoying."

"I will," I said, and believe me, I really will.

But for the time being, I grinned...

...and pulled out a tube of superglue from behind my back.

"And I _did_ say I would superglue your hands and feet if you didn't stop moving," I snickered. "And looks to me like you haven't." My sneer went wider.

"You wouldn't," he shouted, but he took off, escaping my superglue and I.

"Oh yes I would," I yelled back. "I'll superglue you once I catch you, _Lettuce!_"

"Oh no you don't! I bet you can't even catch me!" he called, but he was laughing. "And I _did_ say Retasu was more preferable!"

I laughed too.

_...That Retasu._

* * *

**Result: Day Five**

"Congratulations, Rosa!" said the Day Care Lady. "Your Clefairy and Breloom got along with each other really well, and here's what I found! An egg! I didn't know how it got there, but your Pokémon obviously had it!"

"Yeah! Finally!" Rosa cheered, taking the egg from the lady. Then she turned to Retasu and I. "See, you two! I knew you guys would do it!"

I smiled. "Clef!" while he said, "Loom!"

After putting the egg away, Rosa turned to her Pokémon: Madoka, Purin, Minto, Zakuro, Retasu, and I.

"Hey! Let's go to the PWT!"

~END~


End file.
